Delay for her entitlement

I did not get my 3rd blog done this past week.  I entended to write it yesterday, however I had an opportunity that I do not get everyday that many take for granted.  My mother, as many of you know, is ill and was in the hospital last week.  I had to work yesterday and she came to help me. We spent the entire day together. After work we ran some errands for her and sat down and enjoyed a late lunch together.  Something we have not done in years. By the time we got home and unloaded the car it was time to cook dinner.  We cooked up some fresh fish and spent the evening with my daughter, boyfriend, and good friend.  I know it just sounds like your everyday and maybe for some it is, but not for me. I had to make the choice to seize the moment (day) with my mother or do my homework.  I almost lost my mother in March and truely began to search myself and how I had not thought about what my life would be like without her.  Unexpectedly, I discovered that I subconciously felt entitled to her everlasting love....maybe.  The way I see it she is entitled to my everlasting love, respect, and attention.  It is easy to get caught up in life and forget the the little things, often times taking for granted that you will always have another day to spend with someone or to tell them how you feel.  We are not entitled to tomorrow, tonight, or even the next breath.  So live for each moment!

Entitlement in children

How do children begin to feel entitled? Some might say it is caused when children are born into a family with money.  Some might say that it is being an only child.   I have even heard people say that they think children of certain races have a false sense of entitlement.  I have to disagree.  I have seen children from all backgrounds, races, and income levels behave normally and I have seen them acted like they are entitled to everything under the sun.   I do believe that these circumstances can stimulate a level of confidence in children that can sometimes be miscondstrude as feelings of entitlement.  I also believe that entitlement is something that every child as felt or will feel at some point.  Guidance from family, teachers, and friends can shape those feelings into a postive, confident child.  What do you think?

Living with a narcissist

While researching material on narcissism, I have discovered that I live a life surrounded by narcissistic people.  It starts in my home and expands into many members of my family.  In each of my families homes there is at least one narcissist and one non narcissist.  I have discovered that the non narcissist are generally the homemakers.  They do the shopping, cooking, and cleaning.  They are what most people consider "people pleasers".  In reality they are not always trying to please others, just making themselves happy taking care of others.  The narcissist tend to become worse when paired with the non narcissists because the non narcissist enables the narcissist to feel more entitled and think less about helping others.  They often get to a point that they do not even realize how selfish they have become.  I feel it is a good example of how the narcissist and the non narcissist are all apart of the narcissism epidemic.

Narcissism - the social impact

I cannot help but wonder if the increase in narcissism in our society is a result of the advances in technology and the emphasis on actors and athletes.  The advances in technology allow us to observe the spending habits of the rich and famous; whereas before the time of internet and smartphones we had no idea of the extravagent lifestyles in which they lived.  With information sharing, it has enabled a large portion of people to become envious of those lifestyles.  It pushes people to compete with others, not with skills, but with bigger houses and more expensive car, and high priced educations. The competition has generated a selfish, care for my self mentality.

In my opinion, I think that technology has caused society to focus less on ones skills and more on their appearance and possessions.

Thank you

Why is it so difficult to say those two little words...thank you.  They only take a moment to say or type.  Saying thank you shows someone that you recognize them.  Have you ever received an unexpected thank you that just brightened your day?  I have and it was one or the simplest happiness that I have ever experienced.


On that note,  I want to say thank you to everyone!  I know it may sound corny, but I truely mean it.
Each of you have directly and or indirectly impacted my life.  Some positively and some negatively, but I am thankful for the good and the bad.


THANK YOU!

Something for nothing

I have often wondered why people expect so much and yet offer so little.  My mother and my grand-mother raised me to believe that you get out of life what you put into it.  It may not always come back how you give it, it comes back all the same.  I have never felt entititled to anything.  My friend is one of those people that would give the shirt off his back to someone in need; however, he has recently started asking "when is it going to be my turn"?  He has fallen on hard times (mostly because of his own doing) and now feels entitiled to better because he has done so much to help others in need.  We had a conversation a few days ago and I explained to him that sometimes it never is your turn and sometimes it comes back in a different way.  I know plenty of good people that have had to endure horrific things in their life.  You hear growing up that if you mind your manners and do the right thing that good things will happen.  Unfortunately, that is not always the case. What I have noticed is that when you walk around expecting something, it never comes and when you continue on without expectations, a lot more goes your way. 

Stand your ground - homebound

The more I research material regarding the "Stand Your Ground" law, the more I am convinced that it has to be changed.  I do believe that you should have the right to "Stand Your Ground" to protect your home.  I know that there are many people that will disagree when I say the you should not be able to use this law anywhere else.  If you are away from your home and you feel threatened then you have the right to "Self Defense".  It is a legal defense that has been used successfully for years.  People will always find the loopholes in a law if it is not written clearly, it has become clear that this law was not written clearly. 

Where did your manners go?

Daily I am shocked by the lack of manners in my surroundings.  I was raised in a small town in Arkansas, where you were expected to say yes mam, no sir, excuse me, may I and please.  A community where men opened doors for women and children did not talk back to adults.   Walking through the mall today I saw kids telling their parents what to do and people pushing past others.  I did not like the rules when I was a child, but looking back now I realize the rules were not rules at all, they were manners. People today, are for the most part, rude!  They do not care about anyone else's feelings but their own.  Just because we have advanced in technology does not mean that we have to abandon our past.  When given the opportunity, hold the door for someone, make a point to say thank you or please.  People will be pleasantly surprised and will typically do the same for someone else.  Kindness is contagious. Don't believe me, try it.

Stand Your Ground Concerns

The more I read about the Stand Your Ground law I truely feel that it should be completely reformed.  I cannot comprehend that a domestic violence situation cannot constitute the use of this law. I also do not understand how someone down the street and then claim self defense by using the Stand Your Ground law.  There are so many different interpretations of this law.  There is absolutely no consistancy in how it is enforced.  Legally frustrating and emotionally draining!

Music is a universal language

Last night I attended my first "rap" concert with my sixteen year old daughter at Sunfest.  While we were standing there waiting for the performances to begin, I noticed something amazing.  There were people from all different ages, toddlers to seniors.  There was a melting pot of nationalities.  We were all there for the same reason, our love of the music.  As the crowd danced and sang along with the music, it was evident that it spoke to us all, and we all understood.  We might be different, but in some ways we are all the same.

The limits of knowledge

For a lifetime, I have heard people complain and say that school is a waste of time.  They ask why they need Algebra, Science, and so on.  Regretfully, I admit that I too shared in those same complaints.  Having spent the first seventeen years after high school barely making ends meet, working dead in jobs, while raising two daughters, the time had come and something had to give.  I enrolled in college in October of 2011.  I was surprised at how much I did not know.  Quickly, I was taught to ask why about everything.  I truely felt like a two year old in my head.  Why, why, why! My life had been limited before due to my lack of knowledge.  Attending South University has opened my eyes and mind to the limitless possibilities that are out there for me, all I have to do is be open to learn new things. From learning how to look things up in the library and on the web, to learning new web tools such as wikis and blogs, slowly I am catching up.